Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Safe In The Arms Of Jesus
Yesterday morning, my tiny unborn nephew was carried by the angels to the arms of his Heavenly Father. My sister, at four months along, miscarried her tiny infant. She was able to hold her baby for awhile after he was born, and his picture is engraved forever on her mind. She and BJ have named their little son Sean Jeffery Cormier and are longing for the day they will see him again in Heaven. Jessica is doing okay and is resting and trying to recover from the miscarriage. Please pray for the Cormier family as they face the coming days, the painful memories, and their precious loss. Folks sometimes tend to make light of a miscarriage saying, "At least you didn't carry full term.". I've heard people say things like, "She needs to get over it. It was just a miscarriage." While I agree that you need to get up, dust yourself off and move on with life, that you can't dwell forever on the child that was lost, at the same time, the pain is VERY real whether the baby was barely formed or whether he was nine months brand new. A mother becomes attached to her child from the first moment he begins to grow within her. She begins to plan, to dream, to fall desperately in love. And when that little life is torn from her in an instant, it is devastating no matter how or when it happens. I hurt for those who make light of a miscarriage almost as much as I hurt for the mother of the lost child. You can never really understand the love of a mother until you've had a child of your own. That overwhelming love that would make you lay down your own life in an instant for your child, even a tiny unborn infant. A powerful love that makes you want to shield your baby from the pain and struggles of life. Its a love that tears your heart out, makes you sick to your stomach when you have to watch your child struggle and hurt. And when your child is taken from you in an instant, a big piece of your heart goes with him. You are never the same afterwards. You understand death. You understand the pain of losing someone you love dearly. You understand how fragile life really is. You now realize that you are not invincible. This actually happened to you, and could possibly happen again. There is the fear of "will I have to go through this again with another child? Another pregnancy?" There are the heart wrenching, agonizing sobs in the dark night hours that no one but God ever sees. The pleas for grace and mercy as you face the days ahead. Many times, we have no idea what someone is going through. You don't see the pain beneath the smile that a mother will wear in public. The pain that will last for months after her child is gone from her. The pain of burying her dreams at the grave site along with the body of her tiny child. And if this is not enough, your body itself won't let you forget the loss. Have you ever heard of Phantom Pains when someone gets a limb amputated? I found out that that phenomenon is VERY real. I experienced phantom kicks for about 3 months after Rebekah died. They were very real, and very strong kicks as if I still carried a 7-9 month old baby! The pain of loss hits hard every time the mother hears a baby cry. And she reacts to those cries and feelings for months until her body has healed. Its not just your mind screaming out the loss of the child, but also your body. In other words, it just takes time, and LOTS of it! So, please, have patience with those grieving mothers, even when you see their tears months down the road. They can't hide them all the time. Some days are worst then others. My own birthday, the day Rebekah died, is still hard for me and its been five years. Time eventually heals the raw wounds, but the memories will last forever! And sometimes, memories will still bring tears with them.
But in the midst of all this pain, and the memories is the amazing grace, peace, and mercy of a loving Heavenly Father who knows very much what its like to see a son suffer. He knows of the pain more than anyone else in this world. His love and amazing peace is like a warm cloak that wraps you up and keeps you safe from the storm that rages within your heart, mind, and body. The joy of His presence makes your heart bubble up within you to the point that you feel like you will explode! That joy makes you rejoice while you hold the body of your child, knowing that he is truly safe in the arms of God and that you simply hold an empty shell. The peace of God that floods your very soul will give you the strength to walk away from the grave, dust yourself off, and move on with a smile. And yes, you must move on. You cannot dwell on the one you lost. You must give your child to God, trust His will, and continue to live your life for His glory. You cannot dwell on the past and what you don't have. It will ruin you! God's will is perfect, no matter what happens. He knows, and he loves you more than you'll ever know. His touch is loving and gentle, even when it hurts. He does care and He will support you and carry you every step of the way, if you let Him.
My sister and her family are strong, and they will survive this tragedy. Her spirit is sweet in spite of her loss, and her trust in God is unmovable. But, still, please pray for her and her family. The tears will still fall when no one is around and its at those times when she will need to feel the prayers of the family of God. It was those prayers that kept Andy and I going five years ago, and the strength of those prayers were felt for months after our own baby's death. So now, I ask you to pray for my sister as she faces the loss of her baby boy.
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me..."
So, so true!!!